Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Going Home

Everyday a little after four in the afternoon the Alzheimer's symptom known as "Sundowner" hits. All of a sudden Mom has the urge to go home. But she is home. This happened even before she moved into my home last December. Here it is October and she still isn't used to this being her home. 
Distraction is about all that helps. Some days I let her walk next door to my sister's home. This makes her feel she has her freedom to do as she wishes and it makes her happy. My sister or one of my nieces or nephew usually walk her home half an hour later. Their home is busy with lots of activity, large dogs, kids, loud video games and such. So she can only take it for a short time before she is ready for the tranquility of where she had come from earlier in the day. Not that it feels like home. I take her through each room pointing out her furniture, which we took into my home, requiring me to get rid of my furniture which I loved. She recognizes her paintings and photos. Then we look at her bedroom and all of her clothes in the closet. Finally we join her husband, my dad in the TV room. Sometimes she doesn't recognize him and I need to point out the couples photos of the two of them over the years. The best thing I ever did was make a bound photo book on www.shutterfly.com that has all of our family pics in chronological order with the year under each, their couple portraits over the years, our houses with street address and years in order and recent celebrations like their 60th Wedding Anniversary Party photos.  It lays out the family history, their history and recent events clearly. Her favorite pic is the birthday lobster dinner last September for her 81st birthday.
Once we go through the entire history the water works usually stop and we can get on with dinner. Some days it takes looking at old photo albums and old familiar music to calm her down. Occasionally I have had to put her to bed early because of the hysterics. She actually makes herself sick.  

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