Christmas

My daughter was able to visit from California the week before Christmas. It was nice because our holiday time together was mostly just the two of us. Mom was there but very quiet and still confused as to who Julie was and why was she here. Julie’s very good at calming mom and letting her know she’s someone who loves her and that is all that matters.

When Christmas Eve rolled around mom and I went to mass at 4 PM and had our usual seats in the back of the church. It was crowded and there was an overflow mass in the hall. But we managed and enjoyed the decorations and the enthusiasm of the children. Mom seems to spot every baby and take joy from watching them from afar.

But again it was a bittersweet holiday for me without daddy. Mom doesn’t seem to remember him much anymore. If you do try to explain the reality of the situation, she gets angry and accuses you of being mean. I guess at this stage it’s best to go with the flow and live in her fantasy world. After all, it is Christmas, talk about Santa to every child. So let the magic and fantasy Christmas fill our hearts with joy and happiness. And let there be peace on earth.

Thanksgiving

 Holidays it become very difficult. First with daddy gone, they just aren’t the same. And it’s hard to know whether my daughter will be able to join us since she lives and works in California now. It seems the rest of the family has become fractured as well. The kids sometimes go to their dad’s family. My sister works long hours and never knows whether she’ll have time off. So all I can really plan on his mom and me.

 The other reason becomes difficult is anything out of the ordinary routine seems to upset mom. She becomes overtired and anxious. The desire to “go home” becomes all-consuming. You can see it in her eyes that she is in pain and very tired. Guess often stay too long and I have to let them know that we have an early bedtime in this household.

So for that reason I kept my Thanksgiving plans very simple. I roasted turkey, made mashed potatoes, peas and bread. I told anyone coming over to bring more to fill in around the basic dinner. My niece Stephanie made a bread pudding with Rum and raisins that was delicious. There seem to be enough food for everyone.